Friday, June 14, 2013

Why young Chinese are childish: chinese education failure?

I have a friend who remarried a Chinese lady. His wife has a previous 14 years old daughter from a previous wedding. At every launch time her daughter keeps on forgetting her launch box. The mother will therefore bring her her launch box at noon!

This anecdote tells a lot about Chinese parents.

Who raises children?

In many Chinese families, grand parents raise grand children. Why is that?

  • Chinese parents work and don't have time to take care of children. Many Chinese parents live in different cities in order to earn more money
  • Grand parents want grand children and they are willing to help raising the children. They will also pay for part of the expense
  • It is frequent that the family share the same appartement: grand parents, parents, children...

In some case the mother will raise her child.
Most of the time the father will work and not have time to raise his child. He will often work in a different city. 

What are the consequences of this Chinese education?

Many Chinese children are spoiled and childish. 
Grand-parents are kind with their grand children and they often lack authority. 
The mother will also lack authority. 
The father will be kind and buy his child anything to compensate for not being at home.

The child will go to his grand mother, then his mother, then his father... He will receive attention from all!

Chinese families are organized behind one leader.
In a typical Chinese family, the grand parents live with their child and grand child. The father will work in another city. The mother will work or stay at home. She will raise her child together with her mother.
The family leader will be a grand father. He represents the authority. He will be the one to punish the grand child when the grand child really goes too far. He will be the one to take the final decision for some important issues.

The child will be free to do as he wants. He will go to one educator to the next, the mother, the grand mother... In the end most of the time only the grand father will punish if the child really goes too far.

The child will rely on his family and remain childish. He will also learn not to go beyond some rules or else he would be punished.

It is interesting to note that not only families but the society as a whole share a similar structure. It is often organized behind one leader. There is a global structure that you can rely on for your education, work... There are limits that you should not cross.

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