Monday, June 16, 2014

Chinese men are masochists?

The other day, I was having a drink at KFC. And two girls sitting at the nearby table were both scolding their boyfriends/ husbands!

You can watch for yourself:

In fact I have seen this quite often in China.

Chinese girlfriend/ wife scolds he boyfriend/ husband publicly!
In China the face matters a lot, so that people often bring their relation in the open. There is not the same sense of intimacy as in the west.

Sometimes the girlfriend wants to humiliate her boyfriend.
She wants to make him lose face in front of the general public! Therefore she will scold him in the open. In fact the girl sitting on the right came with her brother. He came for support while she was scolding her boyfriend. She was blaming him that he just lost his job and didn't earn enough money.

Sometimes the girlfriend scolding is all part of a game!
From time to time Chinese girl want to know that their boyfriend still love them and only them. Thus they will scold him and blame him for little or no reason. For instance the girl will tell her boyfriend that he must only care about her.
When a Chinese girl does this publicly it is also a way to show that she is together with the boy. In fact the girl takes pride in showing the public she is together with the boy...

As I see it, many Chinese couples relationship in some aspect is sado-masoschism!
On one side, some Chinese men will test the limit of their couples.
They might go out with workmates. They might go to some massage. They might bet a lot of money. They might have a mistress.
On the other side, the Chinese girl will blame her boyfriend for no reason, scold or even humiliate him publicly! Sometimes public scolding is just part of the game. The man wants to feel that the girl cares about him and that therefore she blames him, sets some limits.

In fact in a traditionnal Chinese couples, the man works while the woman controls the money and raise the children. Divorce is not allowed. The Chinese wife knows that she can not find another husband as she gets older. There is already some kind of "sado-masoschism settings".
The woman relies on her husband income. She fears that he might leave her. She might want to control his every moves. What's more many Chinese couple have little sex life once they have children. Thus the Chinese wife is more a second mother than a wife. She sets the rules.

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